When it keeps coming back....

i tried to stop.

i really do.

but it keeps coming back and haunt me.

The bad memories that is best left out on this blog. or rather i do not want to be reminded of in future. the bitter taste of hauntings and the scent of betrayal still lingers.

"Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions." - Proverbs 10:12
- the small voice within me reminded me what love is.

There is always a vindictive self in me wants to resurface and take charge of the situations.
Then there is this Grip called Memories. It will grip me in the most unkind way and roused me from sleeps, jolted me to past and with a sober mind and perfect visuals, i withness the awful scenes of the deeds he did. i swear it is as clear and real.

I broke down.

This must not go on.


Holding on to whatever little faith i have in me, i made a silent prayer.

When is this going to end?

I have no answer. I walked up to bed,plant a kiss on his forehead.

I am still battling a war with self-esteem and confidence. On my shoulders there are still my dreadful job cum dilemma and my emotional struggles, sometimes i am really tired of fighting, the flight of escapism is what seems lik3 a logical choice.

The flight of escapism = future hauntings

It is my choice to marry him. Now it is really up to me to build up my marriage. The ball is at my court, roles have changed.

The battle continues, i have but only, an amour of love over me.